Alone Even In a Crowd

~80 other girls in my dorm
~200 other students on campus
151 phone contacts
256 Facebook friends

I am completely surrounded by people.
Yet I am completely alone.

I just started college. I have been away from home before, no big deal. But this is the first time I've been away somewhere that I know nobody. At all. Every time I've been away from home before I've had somebody, whether it was friend or family, I have never before now been completely on my own.

A couple of days ago it really hit me how alone I am. I felt so, so lonely it almost felt like depression. I just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry or go sprinting back to anywhere where I knew somebody. Yet all those people... literally hundreds of people, and I can count on one hand... a couple fingers really, those of them I felt safe enough to share my thoughts, my fear, my anxiety with.

I'm not a social person. I don't make friends easily. I rarely, if ever, admit this to anyone, but I am terrified of talking to new people, because the possibility of rejection scares me to death. I realized recently, after doing some research, I've developed a form of social anxiety because of this fear. Instead of taking the risk of talking to people to make new friends, I hide away in random corners or my room, keep to myself, and for all intents and purposes watch the world pass me by.

Then, the day I'm having all these thoughts, I get a text from a dear friend. Someone I know God has placed in my life to encourage me and keep me accountable. I open up the message and this is what I see:

Deuteronomy 31:6 "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them. For the Lord your God goes with you, He will never leave you nor forsake you" pray and think on this verse today.. remember YOU are never alone
Isn't our God faithful?! Only He could have known how badly I needed that reminder that day. I lost count of how many times I went back to that message that day. I wrote the verse down in my best handwriting on some pretty paper and framed it and set it on my desk where I can see it every day. A reminder that I am not alone and if the people if this world reject me, it's okay, because I AM NOT ALONE, even if sometimes I feel like I am. I have a God who is faithful and present! How amazing is that? I just have to remind myself, whatever happens is His will and if someone rejects me, then they're not supposed to be in my life. I can do this.